CLOSED Best Jokes Contest | Free Contest Win 2X$50 GiftCards

**Moderator**

NoLuckNeeded.com's Best Jokes Contest to Win a $50 Prize
This Contest is free for all No Luck Needed members. Not a member? join for free today.
Contest Closed. Congrats to ll527ws & brunett

NoLuckNeeded.com's Best Jokes Contest to Win $50

Post your Best Jokes to enter the contest.

This contest closes August 15th, 2012
The contest prize is USD and paid by amazon.com gift card.

Posted:04.06.2012, 12:16

Confucius say, "Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."

**Moderator**

Prowan52,

Posted:04.06.2012, 15:42

MY MOMMY THE DANCER

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up - teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your mother?"

"No," the boy said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

**Moderator**

This makes me laugh everytime!

Posted:05.06.2012, 10:52

I think I'll put one of these up in my backyard

**Moderator**

webdeb, Good one!

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Click Here for NoLuckNeeded.com's
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Posted:05.06.2012, 21:05

what do you call a 500 pound girl on a bar stool with a condom in her pocket ?

a half ton pick up with a box liner

Posted:06.06.2012, 03:47

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

I don't cry when I cut a hooker.

Posted:06.06.2012, 05:12

Q? WHAT DID THE SIGN ON THE WHOEHOUSE SAY? ANSWER! BEAT IT!! WERE CLOSED.

**Moderator**

Life Lesson: Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Posted:06.06.2012, 19:22

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? one great throught!!

Posted:07.06.2012, 06:31

what did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"are u sure its mine???"

what do u call a blonde w/a runny nose?
FULL!!!!!!!!

what did the blondes right leg say 2 the left leg?
nothing they nevewr met

What does the blonde say after having multiple orgasms?
WAY TO GO TEAM!!!!!!!!

why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
so she can have a doggy bag 4 later

how do u get a sweet 80yr old woman 2 say the F-word?
get another sweet 80yr old woman 2 yell "BINGO"

**Moderator**

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.