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Age: 40
Joined: 13 Oct 2009
Posts: 35
Likes: 28
Location: CA
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Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing
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Age: 36
Joined: 04 Apr 2012
Posts: 1
Likes: 2
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Age: 57
Joined: 29 Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
Location: united states
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yo mama so poor she do drive by shootings on the bus
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Age: 57
Joined: 29 Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
Location: united states
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yo mama hair is so short she rolls her hair with rice
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Age: 57
Joined: 29 Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
Location: united states
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yo mama so dumb it takes her an hour to cook minute rice
Last edited by tpolk on 22.09.2012, 10:30; edited 1 time in total
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Age: 57
Joined: 29 Dec 2009
Posts: 10
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Location: united states
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this lady who is a member of a church bought two talking girl parrots and all they would say is "hi, we're prostitutes want to have some fun?" so the lady went to her pastor and said, pastor you have two boy parrots who pray while holding their rosary beads all day every day, may i bring my parrots over to your house tomorrow so they can make a good impression on my parrots? the pastor said yes bring them over tomorrow. so the lady took her two girl parrots over to the pastors house the next day and sat them in front of the boy parrots and sure enough the two girl parrots said "hi we're prostitutes want to have some fun?"so one boy parrot looked at the other boy parrot and said, "hey bob put down your rosary beads our prayers have been answered.
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Age: 63
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 3690
Likes: 4739
Location: Minnesota
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Age: 57
Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 1752
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Location: Minnesota
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He is a very fast drinker
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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Age: 77
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 1601
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Location: Texas
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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
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Age: 63
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 3690
Likes: 4739
Location: Minnesota
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Your deal, Fido
A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game going on at the far table. As he moves closer, he sees that there is also a dog sitting at the table.
The dog has cards and chips in front of him, and when a hand is dealt, the dog gets his cards too. In turn with the other players, the dog calls, raises, discards, in fact does everything that the other human players are doing.
However, none of the other players seem to mind that that they are playing with a dog. They just treat him like any other player.
Finally the man cant stay quiet any longer, so between hands he quietly says to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!"
The player smiled and said, "Well, hes not that smart.
Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."
_________________
DON'T WORRY ~  ~ BE HAPPY!!!
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Age: 63
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 3690
Likes: 4739
Location: Minnesota
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*Adult theme
How Was Your Trip to Vegas
Three guys take their wives on a surprise vacation to Las Vegas for a week. The time flies by, they all have a great time and pretty soon they're back at work, discussing how it was.
The first guy says "I'm not doing that again! Since we've been back, my wife throws her arms in the air and shouts "7 come 11" every night. I've hardly had a good night's sleep!
The second guy nods his head "Yeah, same here. She played blackjack in Vegas all the time. Now she slaps the bed all night and screams "hit me light or hit me hard", I can't doze off.
The third guy says "You two are lucky you're not me. My wife played slots the whole time we were there. I get to sleep, but I wake up every morning with a sore dick and an a$$ full of quarters."
_________________
DON'T WORRY ~ ~ BE HAPPY!!!
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Age: 40
Joined: 13 Oct 2009
Posts: 35
Likes: 28
Location: CA
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Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
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Age: 79
Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Posts: 14
Likes: 7
Location: ontario
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....
Expired Link. Check out our Casino Bonus Forum for a list of current bonuses.
Best laughs I have had in years !!!
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Age: 79
Joined: 26 Jun 2012
Posts: 14
Likes: 7
Location: ontario
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A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started
to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.
The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it
implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on
a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down,
he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him.
'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart it implies that you called for me.'
The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist.
'May I help you?' she asked. 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the
$500 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to
see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm out of here!!
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| (No subject) |
Age: 63
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 3690
Likes: 4739
Location: Minnesota
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Not really a joke...but ssssssooooooooo cute!
_________________
DON'T WORRY ~ ~ BE HAPPY!!!
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