CLOSED | Best Quotes | Free Contest #2 | Win $33 FREE

Posted:25.04.2009, 11:43

All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.
Stephen Hawking

Posted:25.04.2009, 12:14

depend on the rabbits foot if you will, but it didnt help the rabbit.dont gamble the rent money or youll be sleepin on the park bench.,when you put 50 slot machines in a casino ,i consider that a mousetrap,because youve got to have a mousetrap to catch the mouse,by,bob stupak ,former las vegas casino owner,. stop cheating said the dealer, im not cheating said the man, you must said the dealer, thats not the had i dealt you.

**Moderator**

Posted:25.04.2009, 12:36

Yes I will! A true genius!

**Moderator**

Percival, I think he is in the hospital

Posted:25.04.2009, 14:36

I know this is not a quote, but a joke, but perhaps to celebrate the closing of the quotes contest? Hope you dont mind:

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...

on one condition..."

Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said....

"CLEAN MY HOUSE..."

Posted:25.04.2009, 14:37

Yes, Stephen is still undergoing treatment... I pray that he will come out soon...

Posted:25.04.2009, 14:42

"You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it." -Albert Einstein

Posted:25.04.2009, 16:13

" I got two little pairs, eights and eights."

From the movie Maverick

Posted:25.04.2009, 16:34

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
--Dick Cavett

Posted:25.04.2009, 16:36

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
--Dick Cavett

Posted:25.04.2009, 16:38

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-George Carlin

Posted:25.04.2009, 16:51

Oh sorry again, but I found another great joke:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash &valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat.'
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered littlebowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:

'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'....

**Moderator**

THANKS!!!

Posted:25.04.2009, 19:50

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby