CLOSED| Best One Liner Quotes | Free Contest | NoLuckNeeded

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Awesome quotes! Thanks everyone!

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NoLuckNeededWhen you don't know where you're going, every road will take you there. Yiddish Proverb

Posted:24.04.2009, 18:41

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llocklar THANKS!!!

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Only when the last tree has died & the last river been poisoned &
the last fish been caught will we realise
we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian
via @crumcake

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via @stillsafe:

Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures. Han Suyin

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via @benjamteal

I've failed over & over & over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan

Posted:28.04.2009, 18:11

If the answers to prayer are merely what God wills all along, then why pray?
~ Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

Why does the Vatican have lightning rods?

Freethought is respectable. Freethought is crucial. Freethought needs to be publicized.
~ Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

He is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
~ Thomas Jefferson

A mystic is a person who is puzzled before the obvious but who understands the nonexistent.
~ Elbert Hubbard

Posted:28.04.2009, 19:49

"Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be."
-- John Wooden

Posted:28.04.2009, 20:31

Some serious quotes...

Trying to find God is a good deal like looking for money one has lost in a dream. ~ Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays

A mystic is someone who wants to understand the universe, but is too lazy to study physics. ~ anonymous

You pronounce sentence upon me with greater fear than I receive it.
~ Giordano Bruno, to his inquisitors

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. ~ Nietzsche

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
~ Philip K. Dick

Q: Mr. Haldane, what can you tell about the Creator from your study of biology?
A: The Creator, if He exists, has a special preference for beetles.
~ J. B. S. Haldane, 1892-1964, Report of lecture, 7 April 1951 in Journal of the British Interplanetary Society (1951) vol. 10, p. 156

Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; Give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Posted:28.04.2009, 21:03

Q: How do you get a professional poker player off your porch?
A: Pay him for the Pizza.

Q: What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a poker player?
A: A large cheese pizza can feed a family of 4, a poker player can't.

Q: What is the difference between a poker player and a dog.
A: In about ten years the dog quits whinning.

Q: How can you tell a poker player is lying?
A: His chips are moving.

Q: What is the difference between a poker room and a church?
A: When you pray in a poker room, you really mean it!!

Q: Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
A: Because there were too many cheetahs.

There are TWO rules for ultimate success in poker: 1. Never tell everything you know.....

Posted:28.04.2009, 21:15

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." ~Jimi Hendrix

Posted:28.04.2009, 21:38

Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.

Why are they called "hemorrhoids". They should be called "asteroids"?

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Why is there no mouse flavored catfood?

We have enough youth...How about a fountain of "Smart"

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

If you stole viagra from the drugstore does that make you a hardened criminal?

Do farts smell for the benefit of the deaf?

It was the happiest day of her life: She strode up the alter, kissed her husband and closed the lid.

Based on current statistics, we know 50% of all marriages end in divorce, which means the other 50% end in death.

The punishment for bigamy is two mothers-in-law.

Dorothy got lost in OZ because she had three men giving her directions.

After his divorce Frank realized poker isn't the game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for
mooning.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

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Posted:28.04.2009, 23:03

I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.

eleanor roosevelt

In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.

jane haddem