CLOSED| Best One Liner Quotes | Free Contest | NoLuckNeeded

**Moderator**

This is funny, but more than one line

Posted:19.04.2009, 17:47

I know I laughed when I read it.

You are toooooooooooo funny.

**Moderator**

Q.
What happens when your Dad is a paranoid schizophrenia
and your Mom is an acoholic?

A. The voices in your head are slurred.

My own little creation

**Moderator**

gonecamping2, LOL!!!!

I like that we are not responsible for what I may say!

**Moderator**

"Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law ofthe land than passing laws which cannot be enforced."
Albert Einstein

Posted:20.04.2009, 09:02

Posted:20.04.2009, 16:44

**Moderator**

LadyLucky, No Thank you

Posted:20.04.2009, 17:51

"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
"What's come over you?"

"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Pull yourself together!"

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem

What's considered bi-sexual in Alabama?
Someone who likes sheep and goats

How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

Why does O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Everyone has the same DNA

Posted:20.04.2009, 17:52

Confucius Says...

"Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key"
"Man who fart in church must sit in own pew"
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
"Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly"
"Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone"
"Man who stand in front of car get tired."
"Man who stand behind car get exhausted."
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man who buy many prunes get good run for money"
"Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth"
"War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse"
"It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it"
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there"
"Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs"
"Man who masturbate into cash register soon come into money"
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam"
"Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot"

Posted:20.04.2009, 18:00

I bet you I could stop gambling.

I had to read this twice to get it! LOL

Posted:20.04.2009, 18:19

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it.
The thief was spending less than his wife did

**Moderator**

You may be stronger, faster, prettier, funnier, cooler and smarter than me, but you can never out work me.

Posted:20.04.2009, 21:45

**Moderator**

LadyLucky, Oh lord, don't let voodo see that!