CLOSED | Best One Liner Jokes | Free Joke Contest | $30

Posted:19.04.2009, 08:25

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away

I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Always do whatever's next.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done

Posted:19.04.2009, 08:54

Well its not really a one liner but It made me laugh so I thought I dpost it here in the good ol' joke contest...

Posted:19.04.2009, 09:09

*What do you call a fish with no eye?

"A fsh"

*What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?

"Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear"

*What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

"DAMN"!

*Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?

"He was charged with battery"

*Why do gerillas have big nostralls?

"Coz they got big fingers"!!!!!!!!!

**Moderator**

voodookitty, AWESOME!!! Tweeting some of those now

Posted:19.04.2009, 10:03

**Moderator**

voodookitty, I want a low fat blueberry muffin from Starbucks please... keep the doughnuts

Why did you think I had these contests? For fun? LOL I need tweeting material

Posted:19.04.2009, 10:34

call the psychic hotline from your cellphone ask them to see what floor im on,

Posted:19.04.2009, 10:44

mental health helpline. hello welcome to mental health helpline,if you are obsessive complusive conclusive.press 1. if you are codependent press2,if you have multipal personalties press 3 4 5 6.if you are parnoid we know what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call,.if you are delusional, press 7 and you will be transfered to the mother ship,

Posted:19.04.2009, 11:00

**Moderator**

voodookitty, please post the non clean one liners IMMEDIATELY..

Posted:19.04.2009, 11:21

**Moderator**

voodookitty, Deal! I am not shy and everyone already knows I am crazy!

**Moderator**

Don't think I'm not religious... I have studied most religions & believe them all just to be safe & cover the spread.

#religion

**Moderator**

Via an anonymous member whose name starts with v...

*Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

*How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

*A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that.

*Q. Did you hear about the guy who's a dyslexic-bulimic?
A. He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.

*Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN!