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| Quickie #5 LOL/MDR~ 4X$5 Winners Announced~ ContestClosed |
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
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Location: Gambleville
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[align=center]
CONGRATS WINNERS
This contest was too
funny to pick 1 winner>>>
$5: amrita5000
$5: caterri
$5: timmsa
$5: codyman
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Last edited by TDTAT on 06.02.2009, 09:40; edited 3 times in total
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Age: 69
Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Posts: 58
Likes: 1
Location: Laguna Niguel, California
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Here is one of my funniest pics a friend sent me from Austrailia. Where, it seems, laughsdrinks, and partying are the #1 entertainment there,
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A sense of inner freedom is a powerful thing. Sometimes just realizing that you are, in fact, in control of your life and the choices you make is all the freedom you need!
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Age: 69
Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Posts: 58
Likes: 1
Location: Laguna Niguel, California
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And still another one she sent. She has a sick sense of humpur andso do I I guess.
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A sense of inner freedom is a powerful thing. Sometimes just realizing that you are, in fact, in control of your life and the choices you make is all the freedom you need!
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Age: 60
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 23
Likes: 1
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Why did the people cross the road?
Because the chickens was on strike!
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Age: 63
Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 1450
Likes: 26
Location: wisconsin
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The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!
AMEN!!
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Joined: 11 Mar 2006
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Location: Gambleville
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codyman, Thats gonna be hard to beat :wohwo:
LLMMMMMAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO
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| Thanks |
Age: 59
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 727
Likes: 23
Location: Twelve Step, USA
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THANKS TO TDTAT FOR MY WIN AND FOR THIS GREAT FORUM........
WISH ME LUCK!!!! IM LOVIN' IT.
RAE
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Age: 60
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 23
Likes: 1
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Two Gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking Gas meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house an older woman was looking out her kitchen window watching the two men as they checked her Gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two Gas men running as hard as you two were, I figure I'd better run too!"
KABLOOMMMmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahahahahahahaha
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Age: 54
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 4462
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amrita5000, That was cute.........
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Age: 55
Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 2
Likes: 0
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Age: 52
Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 362
Likes: 20
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Here's one I received in an email. ENJOY!!!!!!!
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo
toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is
hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he
says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles"
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Age: 63
Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Posts: 214
Likes: 1
Location: PARIS - FRANCE
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ADMINISTRATIVE SYSTEM
Do you think he is dreaming ????
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Age: 61
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 172
Likes: 7
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two men seting at the bar on the top floor of a 20 story building, the one man says to the other i will bet you a beer that i can jump from the window and when i reach the 3ed floor i will be sucked into the window, the other man says your on, so the man jumps, and when he reaches the 3ed floor he is sucked into the window, he comes back to the bar and the other man buys him a beer, and then ask the man do you think if i jump out the window that i will get sucked into the 3ed floor window? the man says i dont see who not, i have tryed it many times and it always worked for me, so the man said ok the and jumps from the window and when he gets to the 3ed floor he keeps going, the bartender looks at the man at the bar and says your a ass when your drunk superman.
i like 770 uk
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Age: 61
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 172
Likes: 7
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This is for the guys.
Beware of Wal-Mart Scam
Please be careful, I dont know how many of you shop at Wal-Mart , But this may be useful to know. I have become a victim of a clever scam when out shopping this happend to me and it could happend to you. the victims are always males, so ladys, please pass this information along to your husbands and all your male friends.
Here's how the scam work's
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. Thay both start wiping your windshield with a reg and windex, with there breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, thay say 'NO' and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other, Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Ttursday and on Saturday, also yesterday, and most likely again tomorrow.
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Age: 73
Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Posts: 1206
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Location: home
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